Sunday, March 28, 2010

Cotton is Rotten and Wick Away Intimates

As you may know, I joined a faith based running club. Every Saturday I meet with a group of 100 or so fellow Christians who have chosen to embark on this journey together. Among this group there is an older more conservative bunch, as well as a younger more liberal bunch. I sit with the latter group. I am joined by my good friend Daisy (not really her name, but I know she'll kill me if she reads this). Daisy and I sit through the classroom lectures listening intently and taking copious notes. We haven't actually started running as a a group yet. These first few weeks have been the indoctrination period, the Obama-esque "YES We Can" motivational jargon. It has also been lectures on diet, nutrition, and strength training.

Yesterday we focused on proper running apparel. I must admit, I assumed running was a cheap sport. I mean really, all you need are a pair of shoes, shorts and a T-shirt, right? Oh no! There's all these specialized garments you need to wear. My husband's ratty Calvin and Hobbs T-shirt--inappropriate. My cotton based jogging pants--oh the horror! Cotton, I have learned, is rotten. Remember the old cotton campaigns: "The look, the feel, the cotten, the fabric of our lives", with images of people snuggled up in cottony soft goodness. Well....the new running capmaign is quite simple" "Cotton is rotten", insert image of sweat soaked T-shirts and heavy funky socks, and hot drippy drawers (sorry). Cotten soaks up moisture and causes blisters and funk and other unimaginable horrors--(cotten industry, don't sue me, this is what I was told). There was enough cotton bashing that I wanted to come home and burn all my damn Q-tips to keep the evil fabric away from my family. So, I;ve been indoctrinated, "cotton bad, synthetic fibers with wick away materials good".

I learned that there is underwear that is made to wick away moisture while running. Who'da thunk it? Did I mention that this portion of the lecture was being taught by members of the older more conservative members of the group. Awkward. Daisy, again is taking her notes, and decides to raise her hand and ask a very vital question "Can you run in a thong?", and more importantly "do they make wick away thongs?" Daisy noooooo! These are church folks, we don't talk about thongs with these people. I'm uncomfotable enough talking about bras with the sweet old lady describing her size 42E's. It's too much information to know about anyone, especially our conservative crew. As our elders discuss the benefits of "Body Glide", it's best to keep it to ourselves that we thought it had other more practical purposes. I remind Daisy of where we are, and whom we are running with. I tell her that she must resign ourselves to wick away synthetic granny panties and keep it moving!

4 comments:

  1. Ha! Soooo what was the answer?

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  2. We never asked. We're going to do our own investigation.

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  3. Were is your running group located? James, my husband, is running in the marathon as well. He has been training on his own and is considering a group. This is an expensive sport. We went to New Balance last week and invested in running shoes, socks, etc. I didn't know cotton was the enemy for runners until I read the news paper last week.
    They had the whole shpeel on Marathon season.

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  4. We are based in the Maywood, but our long runs will be along the lakefront. He should definitly see about joining up with us! The club is Elijah Running Club. The website is www.elijahrunningclub.org. Our first long run is 4/10. I know someone who signed up yesterday, so if the link says it's too late don't believe it. Training with a group is very beneficial. We'd love to have him!

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